Society and it’s never ending supply of things to worry about, anything from getting your home refinanced to how many likes you got on your selfie last night, are common stressors. Stress, anxiety, depression, ADHD, ADD, and many other “mental instabilities” are given to us as characterizations separating us from what society interprets as “normal”. The reason those two terms are in quotations marks is because I don’t entirely stand behind these mental accusations businessmen-like physicians place on 18% of our population. I think these “disorders” are a sham, and I’m going to tell you exactly why, and exactly how to deal with them.
The ego, is basically where all negativity in our lives stems from. The dictionary definition of ego is that it’s a persons interpretation of their self confidence and self importance. But, it also means how we believe we must act in order to receive certain reactions from our peers. Anxious and stressed behavior is due to our mind convincing itself that we need to have things a specific way because of the way society has conditioned us to behave. I say, break free.
A great way to diminish feelings of anxiousness is to put it on a mental scale of one to ten. Think to yourself, “Has there been a situation similar to this that I’ve already survived and conquered?”. Answer that question and then place it on your mental scale to weigh it out, 1 being pretty irrelevant and 10 being full blow worst thing ever. You may come to realize that being late for work every once in a while never was worth you beeping your horn and swearing out the window at people driving the speed limit in front of you because no one even noticed once you got to work, that could be a 2. You may come to realize that punching the wall because your girlfriend left you actually only left a whole in your home and didn’t fill the one in your heart, maybe a 4. You may come to realize things are usually not as bad as your apprehensions had made them seem on your mental scale, and just maybe, you will feel better.
Now, I am in no way saying that these negative feelings of anxiety and stress are fake. I am trying to relay the message that you can convince yourself that they are. If your mind is stronger than those attacking thoughts and feelings of negativity you can conquer all those awful situations that you had in the past, with a smile rather than a frown. Remember that anything other than love is irrelevant, the feelings you are feeling are only being felt because YOU ARE LETTING THEM. Yes, you’re probably thinking “this girl knows nothing, I bet she’s never even struggled with my struggle”. Trust me, I have. Depression so heavy I couldn’t lift my eyelids for days, anxiety so intense that I would rip the skin off of my cheeks while I slept, waking up with blood all over my sheets and pillows and ADHD so to the max that my SAT scores looked like someone did it blind. But now after just altering my perception, I think those things are a bunch of baloney. It’s truly easy peasy lemon squeezey if you commit your mind to only believing in the love filled thoughts rather than the anxious ones. I am still working on the social anxiety aspect of it, and I am content with that struggle because it means I’m still in search to find who I really am. People who are confident in their true love filled selves are able to conquer places filled with strangers rather than sitting on your barstool and pretending you don’t speak english to the cute guy trying to have a conversation with you. Yeah, I do that… LOL.
Be honest with yourself, anxiety and stress are the basis of 75% of the visits to a doctors office or walk in clinic. Think about how you are feeling, write it down if you have to spell it out like that to yourself. If you’re anything like me, you worry about how others will interpret your actions, from tucking your hair behind your ears to singing karaoke. Ditch it, judgmental thoughts are fake, it’s just your ego being relentless. I hate to break it to you, but if you actually look at these issues as valid things you’re just blatantly making up excuses to why you don’t want to strengthen your mind. Ditch making excuses for yourself and just get it done. I also hate to break it to you again, but your ego’s relentless attack thoughts will stay constant, you just need to have the mental strength to put them out as soon as they’re ignited. When an individual is concentrated on love, and only love filled moments and thoughts, your ego doesn’t stand a chance. Don’t wear a bra today, don’t match your finger and toenail polish, don’t answer the phone call that will put you in an attack thought mood, don’t decide to swim oceans for people who wouldn’t even put a raincoat on for you, and definitely don’t think that anyone is better or worse than you in any moment.
We are cohesive, everything is cause and effect, anything you start to do will have an outcome, wether that outcome be positive and constructive or negative and destructive is entirely up to you and your mind. I like to separate my mind out into sectors almost, like they’re little people who run that part of my brain inside my skull. Right now, my self control sector is strong as an ox, and following closely behind is my self confidence. Having both of these sectors continually strengthening ensures that soon my anxiety and stress about trivial things will eradicate in due time. The thing is though, it’s not like I woke up one day and just had great self control and was immediately a super star sober powerhouse like I am today. You must challenge yourself in order to improve your sectors. If you’re anxious about shopping in a mall because of prospective judgements directed toward you, drive straight there and try browsing for a bit longer each time you go. In my case it was with drinking. I decided to quit my alcoholism cold turkey one day, and because of that commitment I made to myself, I started working at it. I only went out when I felt mentally prepared and strong enough to deny alcoholic beverages no matter how many times people tried to convince me. After I started to see that I actually can do this self control thing, I began to have the inclination to challenge myself even more so because proving that I can kick alcoholism in the ass felt amazing to ME. It wasn’t necessarily for anyone in particular (yes my family and friends lives’ benefitted greatly from this change as well), it was for me.
You can begin to prove to yourself that you can do anything and overcome anything just with a flick of that mental switch into a love filled, encouraging, and compassionate mental state. Choose goodness every time. I urge you to make the decision to make yourself feel great in any way you can once a day. Take part in something you wish you could do better and with a mind full of encouragement, you will surprise yourself with success. No, it may not be success every time. But, a body in motion stays in motion and I believe the same for your mental health. Once you get off on the right foot inside your head (does that make sense???) your ball of mental positivity will begin rolling further and further.
During my Global Problems, Power and Politics class this past semester. The professor challenged my skills more than any teacher has in my life. It felt like I was putting in 100% effort for an 85 on a simple writing assignment. So instead of crippling under the impending doom of compromising my once in a life time 4.0, I decided that this would be my next mental obstacle to overcome. I began putting in 110% effort in, even if it meant I would only sleep 2 or 3 hours that night. I needed that A for myself, I had the desire to prove to myself that I am intelligent, and that I could get A’s on these assignments if I try hard. Miraculously enough, my grade started to improve. Point by point with each new assignment I climbed slowly and painfully back to an A, and finished the year strong with a 92 on the final. ANYTHING you commit your mind to, you can overcome. A couple years ago my negative ego would’ve just taken over and thrown in the towel on that class. Now it’s different entirely.
Make the conscious decision to have strengthening your mind a priority. Find the beauty in small successes and return for more. Realize you can do anything, but also understand that seeking a bit of help is beneficial to you and that there is nothing wrong with it. Everything that is wrong with anything is your mental interpretation of that thing. So if you have your mind dead set on only the love filled things in your life, you will find nothing is really flawed, it’s just societies perception that is flawed. Take your perception and clean it up a bit, organize your thoughts into good and bad and then toss the bad ones into the trash. ❤
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! -TARYN